It Ain’t Easy… that Peace stuff

So my reason for my first trip to Japan was to get away and think,
Think and to be alone.
I was doubting my future in grad school, and I had been doubting
my marriage for a decade, I wasn’t happy and I tried to figure out
a way out of it all. At uni I had met Japanese-American Rio,
and I had after our chats been listening to more and more of the
old Japanese music, that I used to like so much.
Mostly I listened to YMO way, way back when.

Rio introduced me to hide’s solo music and I got drawn to all of it,
and curious about Japan. The country I previously didn’t know
much about, and I HAD never really felt any interest in Japan,
or its culture.


I loved Chinese history, Chinese philosophy, Chinese everything….
but Japan in my prejudice mindset was all about robots,
manga, anime and men who have inflated plastic dolls for sex…
I basically didn’t know much!!
There were of course Japanese stuff I liked.
Japanese food for example ad always been my favorite.
And yes, X Japan and Yellow Magic Orchestra

So anyway as you know by now I took off to Japan,
first for a Japan Rail Pass, and while there experienced the magic
at Miura Reien and hide calling from the sky.
So I came over. I moved to Tokyo.
I went to live gigs, and I met Vagu*Project at the same live gig as
I went to see Swedish Seremedy.

Little did I know then, that Seike, back then Sermedy’s vocalist,
and I,  would cross paths again in Tokyo 4,5 years later when
Kerbera did a tour in Tokyo at a Live House I have been affiliated
with. Nor did I know then, that they would also participate in the
project I managed to bring Japanese artists to Sweden.
Japanese musicians collaborating with,
and getting to know Swedish bands.
Become friends!
I will return to this project… a lot more in detail at a later date.
Of course a zillion things happened in between the live gigs with
Seremedy and Kerbera in Tokyo – October 2011 and May 2016

The month after I had seen Seremedy and Vagu*Project at
Urawa Narciss in Saitama,  I went on an adventure.
Partially I followed X Japan on their
World Tour 2011 South East Asia part of it,
and partially I went on a traveling adventure and backpacked in
South East Asia.
X Japan in Bangkok was the best!!
What a feeling!!

Now when I came back in December 2011 I had this urge and
desire to really go see Vagu*Project again!
I loved them!!
I knew absolutely nothing about them, and I spoke zero Japanese.
They stood out.. they had something very unique about them.
I was totally spell bound by the stage presence and charisma
that radiated from their Vocalist Yui.
Their bassist Crazy Boy Ryo is also extremely happy and fun,
and a delight on stage.
So I set out to google and find these guys again….
There’s gotta be a live gig close to me coming up!!

Well now… if you don’t write kanji, and you don’t speak a lot of
Japanese, this can be an enormous task…bordering impossible..
to find a band in Japan.. and find out where and when they
play next, and then once you do…
find out how to hell to get tickets?
A lot HAS really changed over the past 5 years, but still it’s
usually only the better known bands that have professional, or
at least comprehensible web sites with English text,
or information on Facebook.
Back then very very few Japanese people had Facebook,
so bands didn’t really care about posting there.
I felt a rising need to do something about this!!!

February the follwing year I went to Australia for a few months,
and while there, I decided to start this site “The Pink Spider Web”
and to, at the very least be able to create some valuable help for
all people out around in the world,  who has an interest in
Japanese Rock or Visual Kei.
People who don’t necessarily read Japanese
I created the Venue index that one can find on this site and
I helped Vagu*Project and created a demo web site for them.
I showed them that one can now a days download songs directly
online (this was long before Spotify had made it to Japan).
Working with them back in 2012, I needed a translator.
I wish I also had known more about Japanese culture.
All of what I know today is by doing mistakes.
Some created terrible misunderstandings, and even conflicts.
Conflicts, often due to misunderstandings, can be solved easily,
but conflicts due to diverging ideas about reality, can be tougher
to solve.
It takes a lot of effort and stepping out of comfort zones from
all parties involved!
Vagu*Project per se went very well, and we had a good working
relationship for quite a while, and it didn’t end until they signed
up with a label demanding certain changes and commitment.
Mostly due to a big financial loans this label gave them
( I wold probably prefer the term slave-contract for what they the signed)

What exactly have I learned?
Well it is a lot, and this is one of my reasons for writing the book.
I have learned a lot not only about Japanese people and their
ways. I have also learned a lot about humans in general,
and about artists, bands, and the music industry in particular.
My ideals of bringing musicians together, for having them being
stronger together and learn from one another is plainly put:
Very naïve!
but it is also still a dream and my mission,
that the rest of the world get to see  more from Japan,
and that the Japanese learn more about the rest of the world!

AUTO-MOD Genet 目黒鹿鳴館 5-18 2014

A lot has changed over these 5-6 years that I have been
working, but a lot has also not changed, and might not ever change.
I am heart-broken that many Japanese artists often cannot see
beyond what they know and are comfortable with, but this might
only a matter of patience, on our part.. as audience.

What hurts me more is all the non-care about others that is going on!
It is one thing to be selfish, as an artist that is very obvious,
and many artists do everything they can for any attention.
This is not just Japanese… it’s global!
Personally though I’m getting a bit fed up with insta feeds
filled 
with selfies and nothing much more…

Not only musicians, many people in the industry also do everything
they can to grab a slice of the pie…
even if it’s on behalf of a friendship.
What happened to talk? and especially what happened to
team-work? 1+1= 3 or 4 or 5 or 6… or even more!
I will certainly be more clear and exemplify in the book,
especially I will use examples from last year’s project with
Reds  from Japan and Kerbera from
Sweden, to name a few.

Luckily I have also learned to kick back and enjoy the fun!
Enjoy the amazing music!
Below for example one of my absolute favorite bands:
ザ・ビールス – The Beers

What I think though, is that there are sooooo many people
involved behind the scenes,
and on the floor and the market with the $ ¥ £ . The people who
pay for concerts, for merch, and (sometimes) the music:
The audience!
Audiences, who deserve the truth, more genuin care about them!
For example if you have international fans, you should care to
provide the information for them as much as you can.
Even if it means working outside your comfort zone,
even if it is less glamorous part of the job.
Learn English at a basic level, collaborate with people, the admin
end of it all….
Tell them about your concert schedule, about your music and
and you should in my opinion stick to the truth.
Not telling your audience that you live part-time in Tokyo and
part-time in Sweden, when in fact that is a straight out lie.
Why? Why inflate?
Are we the audience that dumb?

The closing of Reds Facebook page is just the latest example
of this non-genuine-care-syndrom.
Only work for, and with your own people. Only work within the
ways one is comfortable with, reaping harvests of feeling good
about oneself from the many ‘likes’ that comes as a big
ego-boost after each selfie posted.
Is it really sustainable though? To write that you love your fans,
but never really be brave enough to build that bridge?

As I mentioned in the last blog, Reds and I couldn’t talk to
one another when we first met.
We actually communicated with Japanese ascii smileys on
twitter messages even though we sat next to each other.
(*^o^*)   (-_-)zzz     ♪( ´θ`)ノ    (T . T)      (=´∀`)人(´∀`=)
And of course also a lot via google translate… which more often
than not, gives you totally the wrong words ha ha ha
but it worked in the very beginning.

Over the years he has picked up quite a lot of English.  Not so
much as he is anywhere near fluent, but he can socially chat.
And well, I too picked up some Japanese over time.
What he hasn’t changed though is habits from the past.
And he is not alone in this by any means.
It goes all over the board… and you can probably exchange the
word ‘Japanese’ in the sentence below and put it in your own
nationality.
This is the way we do things… we Japanese.

Never really saying it out loud but that is sadly the notion.
It is the message.
Because why else don’t you want to learn new ways,
and learn from others enough to be able to reach a lot more
people?
I still love my Japanese friends.
I love a lot about Japan.

This blog can at times now seem a little negative, but it is part
of the process. We must all see and understand the bigger scope.
It is not only the Japanese who need to change.
We all do!
We all need to listen! We all need to actively support those
around us that are different, that come from somewhere else,
that don’t work or talk or love in ways that we do…

Peace as I wrote on my insta (@The_PSW)  the other day…

Peace is not just a beautiful word,
it is action!
Peace is not only action,
it is to be brave and step out of self-love,
it is to support others,
it is to speak up and  defend others,
even when they are very
different from you!
It is easy to be at home,
it is easy to surround yourself
with friends who love you,
but
it is honorable and brave
to stand up and support
Others!

Peace and Sparkles!

and by the way
the same goes for Love and Friendship…
We have to WORK IT!

To be continued…..

 

 

Roppongi, May , 2013

Roppongi 2013
Reds during a day of video shooting in Roppongi, Tokyo May 2013.

So…. I mentioned before, that my first encounter with
Japan was spring 2011.
I was actually in grad school in the USA at that time.
The semester had just finished.
The year before I had been to Vanuatu.
The trip to Vanuatu inspired me a lot.
Fascinated me on a very deep level, because it was
so immensely different to anything I had ever
experienced before.
It drove me to do more linguistic research, as well as
interdisciplinary linguistic anthropology.
Did you know that Vanuatu has over 100 languages
but a population of just about 200000?
One of the most linguistically diverse countries in the world
when you factor in the tiny population!

And as you could see in the video below, they look and behave
very differently from any society (I have ever lived in).
However, on a daily basis, they eat, sleep, have sex, argue,
converse, greet each other….much like I do… WE do,
we humans.
However, being there, immersed in their society, I was aware
pretty much from the get go, that their society is different.
They look different.
Their surroundings and living quarters are very different.
Their social rules are different.
I wont go any further into this topic here, but let’s just
face it:
They look different, they have no cell phones, no gadgets,
and there are no stores (outside of Port Vila, and on the majority of islands),
there is not even electricity on most islands…
so we think, we believe, we assume that
they are different
and they certainly therefore must be more difficult
to communicate with.
In the past Vanuatu was colonized by UK and France in a shared colony.
Unique and interesting in itself, and I could probably write a whole
book just about that…
but
My book is about my life and experiences in Japan.

Japan is surrounded by stereotypes.
We all know them.
We know a lot about Japan in the west,
we really do, don’t we?
They are different in Japan.
They bow, they don’t shake hands.
The food is amazing.
They eat sushi in Japan.
They eat rice in Japan.
They eat with chop sticks.
Japan has a loooong history.
They have temples.
The country in itself is gorgeous with mountains and
they have Mount Fuji.
They also have Tokyo,
and subways that are so crowded one cannot breathe.

We know a lot, don’t we?
I also thought, they must be more similar to me,
more similar than the tribal people in Vanuatu.
Right?
I mean Japan is so high tech, isn’t it?
They make robots and stuff.

When I first arrived in Japan, that was pretty much all
of what I knew … the above…
I also knew some about their music.
X-Japan, hide, Luna Sea, Yellow Magic Orchestra,
L’Arc~en~Ciel, Nightmare, Kuroyume, Gazette….
That was it…
When I travelled around in Japan, in the spring of 2011,
I was also confirming it,
I shot photos of temples,
I went to concerts,
I saw exactly what my stereotypes have told me.

Then… suddenly I decided….
to change my life….
and
My life changed
A LOT!!
because after my first trip to Japan,
the trip when “the sky called me”,
I decided to move to Japan.
I wanted to go deeper, discover more, hear more music…

I met Shingo, a Japanese friend, whom I taught English.
We met every day… yes, every day for many months.
I met Yuka from Hachioji (Tokyo suburb).
Then I met Vagu*Project, a Japanese band,
and Vorchaos, and Dazzle! and…
many other bands followed.
We had meetings, talks, discussions
I started the Pink Spider Web.
I was in love with the country and its people.
I still am.
I still love Japan.

A few years later after I came back to Japan,
(I had been in the US to treat a colon cancer)
I met this man in the photo above: Reds.
He is the vocalist in AURA. A Japanese band that started in the
90s and was one of the front bands, and pioneers, for the Japanese
Visual Kei.
We met at one of my favorite spots in Japan:
The Club Sensation in Yokohama.
How we met, and the miracles I felt will be another story.
It was certainly though a very special encounter
and on a very deep level.
Deeper than rational brain can go,
and more amazing than I thought possible.
We truly connected!

He was delighted to see my work on the internet.
How I could reach so many people across the globe.
Because sadly, I had discovered by now,
Japan isn’t all like I perceived it to be during my trips.
Hanging with Japanese bands like Vagu*Project,
I had noticed that they somehow were out of synch.
Out of synch with how technologically ahead Japan must be,
but was not….
Because certainly a country with high tech industries must
have every single citizen on top of the game?
It seemed to me the more I got to know people like
Reds, that Japan is somehow,
Out of synch with the world!

I had, already during my first trip to Japan,
felt that some thing was ‘off’.
Buying tickets for example. –  not possible, at least not the way
I think of
Finding band info online another example –  web pages ill-maintained
and in Japanese only.
Adding Japanese friends on Facebook… was often met with a
stare:  “Facebook???”
This was 2013.. Where were the Japanese online?
They showed me ameoba.
They showed me their web sites…in Japanese.
I was like, but eh…. globally people don’t speak Japanese.
How do you reach your fans abroad?
How do you reach new fans?

Being with them, and later with Reds,
I learned a lot.
Japan was not what my stereotypes had informed me.
To write all that I discovered in Japan,
will take many chapters…. like ….a Book!!
so yes, I wont write it all here, because this is a blog,
and this is why I’m writing a book!
I will just leave some for the book…. lol

Working with the bands, seeing hundreds of bands,
yes hundreds, I got to spend a lot of time together
with them.
And now comes the tricky part, because I was still
somehow in an illusion, that by now…
I knew the Japanese. I understood them.
Their struggles with learning English,
(which by the way is perfectly understandable at
one level because it’s equally difficult for me to learn Japanese)
Their gender inequality,
their difference in gender perception altogether…
I got it!
What I also rather quickly learned was their power structures.
What I am not capable of though, is adapting 100% to their ways.

I naively thought of it as a bridge…
A bridge where we meet half-way while connecting.
I still believe we can do this (but I will return to this later and
more in detail in my book).
I really believed we could truly work together!

The implications though, run much deeper than
understanding that they have power structures,
or knowing that they are reluctant to the concept
of change.
Let alone to actually change anything.
Reds was a fresh wind.
He was curious.
He wanted to reach out.
He wanted to connect.
I thought it was a real wish,
I believed it was possible.

And I believed him…
in a way I still do.

The bridge however… is another story.
There is a thin line between
understanding and misunderstanding

To be continued…….

 

 

 

X Japan and Memories

X Japan Bangkok 11-08 2011 Toshi

The process of writing my book is a somewhat tedious one.
I’m not writing the book in  a straight chronological order,
but it’s starts with Japan, and a lot in my life the past decade,
has do with Japan and Japanese music,
Naturally then, most of the content is from my years in Japan…
not all, but most of it.
In order to aid my memory I’m going through thousands and thousands of photos and video clips.
I’m creating a time line with a great program called Scapple. I highly recommend Scapple for any kind of mind-mapping, or system charting.
Beside the time-line, I am also using Scapple to create a huge sociogram,
in order to graphically visualize how people I know, and have been in contact with,
are related to one another.
It’s been a big eye-opener for me to be able to see how many people are connected to one another!!

The book, which is a memoir, will tell what I did before setting foot in Japan,
and why at all I decided to go to Japan of all places in the world.
X Japan and hide with Spread Beaver, is central to this.
It was through listening to Japanese music, that I decided I wanted to go.
I have never been any kind of Japanophile, but my whole life I’ve been very fascinated by Asian history and philosophy, particularly Chinese.
While studying at UNM, my friends Yumi and Rio Watanabe (re-)introduced me to the band X Japan.
X Japan and hide, then in turn lead me to a fascination with Japan, its people, its culture and of course, the Japanese music.
In the beginning particularly with Japanese Visual Kei
and Japanese Rock.
X Japan was my gateway to Japan.

So with the thousands of photos from the many live gigs, parties, travels, dinners,
back stage areas, family events, weddings, funerals,  bars, business meetings, hospital visits, lunches…..
I’m able to revisit my own life for the past 6-7 years,
and little by little I’m putting it all together,
The time line helps me to get more of a ‘bird’s view’,
to see the bigger picture, and then from it, be able to create the more detailed content.
X Japan, and the Japanese music,
have connected me with so many people around the globe,
not just in Japan.
For example, in the fall of 2012 I visited a friend in Kiev, Ukraine,
who also admires hide, and the Japanese music and culture.
Facebook and twitter have connected me with people all over the world,
and given me many amazing adventures and experiences.

However, Facebook and twitter are also a great sources of misconceptions
of how the world is, and how people actually feel.
By examining my own recent history, I hope to be able to examine this further,
and investigate how to best deal with emotions arising from having
a presence, and participating, on social media ‘places’.
What amazes me are also all the different social ‘rules’ regarding:
what to write, when to write, and how to express oneself on Facebook.
There are big differences between different cultures, countries and regions in the world.
The effect when we all interpret what other people post,
is one giant mess at times, and there is no explanation,
no manual, no help to interpret it all.
Often we aren’t even aware, that we might have completely different intentions with our posts online.
All this fascinates me!
But
Most in the book will not be about how we differ around the globe,
rather most of it will be about shared appreciation.
For example the love for hide and X Japan that reaches far outside Japan,
and yet not necessarily into mainstream global media.
I will therefor also dedicate a big chunk of the content to telling the readers
about lesser known artists and bands in Japan.
Which in a way has been my mission ever since that day
at Miura Reien in May 2011;
The visit to hide’s grave.
My meetings with the Japanese musicians,
and other Japanese people.
My interactions and experiences of different kinds of relationships in Japan.
How I felt. How I feel. How I’m interpreting all these encounters.

Oh and yes, the X Japan concert in Bangkok November 8 was amazing!!
It was their final performance  of the South East Asia tour
which in turn was a part of a bigger world tour 2011.
The Thai X Japan fans went to great lengths to help me.
Not only did they house me, the also got me an amazing ticket very close to the stage
dead-center of the arena.
#WeAreX!

 

 

 

Never ending stream of cosplayers

hide ….

if you love hide, then this is a must go to event!

Personally I do have issues when there is too much merch hysteria
around hide’s person, but this is beyond merchandise and objects…

This is a Love Fest…. a tribute, a fest, a fiesta, a birthday party,
a music fest, a VIsual Kei Day, a live gig day…
One giant celebration!

Also an afternoon and evening to just totally immerse in hide’s music,
his creativity and all that he left for us,
the people that he left behind…
many of them were here at Club Citta
and many of them performing, making music,
and just lovingly present and perform together

and they shared their love, and pain as well,
just imagine for a moment…
close your eyes and think of someone you love,
a very close friend, a very very close friend….
then just imagine the unthinkable…
this person dies long before you do…..
and then still lives on in the world through fans, through music that
becomes legendary,  through images..
everywhere and every day around you

Now of course that gives you a lot of happiness Im sure…
Others are able to hear the music, feel the love, the extreme
creativity that overflows from hide…..
and yet there is also the pain of loss..
Yoshiki talks about it, and so does many of the others,
but the one I sense it from the most…
who seems to send vibes of pain from loss the most, is I.N.A.
His birthday is the day before hide’s…
not just December 12th, but he was born before midnight
and the date became December 13th, that same year, 1964.

I don’t know them well enough, or their story, I wasn’t around in
Japan way back when… so this is only from my own perception,
seeing these people up close
When I.N.A. talked about hide,  and he was up there playing hide’s
videos and songs…
I just felt his body having a certain level of
pain but also of love of course

a rusty nail……

I’m looking at a rose painted on my memory’s pieces
It covers my interrupted memories in my unchanged dreams
Oh rusty nail

If I only let my tears flowing,
I would perhaps be able to forget you
Just tell me my life
Wherever I will walk,
In my tears I won’t see my tomorrows

I forget the ended week-end’s wounds
Even shrouded by the flowing time they pierce my heart
Oh rusty nail

If I only let my tears flowing,
I would perhaps be able to forget you
An asleep rose of a beautiful color faded
Blooms in your heart

If your smiling face lived, certainly
The night reflecting in your eyes would only let a shining dream
You go and meet morning, forgetting loneliness
You shroud with your tears your red wrists
Night is ending

My memory’s door shakes when I close it
It covers my interrupted memories on my blue lips
Oh rusty nail

If I only let my tears flowing,
I would perhaps be able to forget you
Just tell me my life
Wherever I will walk,
In my tears I won’t see my tomorrows

Your broke my painful heart… even now
I can’t forget you

 

 

 

The Miura Shore

Miura Kaigan….the Miura Shore

 

 

I know that it is different to actually be in a place compared to
looking at a photo.
You cannot hear the seagulls, the land birds chirping,
the waves hitting the shore, the wind..
You cannot smell the ocean; the salt, the roots hanging to dry,
the fishing nets, the hemp ropes…
but maybe the photos can convey that everything around this
bus stop (Miura reien) looks the same, or appears to look the same,
not including the changes of seasons.
Everything here breathes and tells you that:
everything here remains the same
Miura Kaigan is always Miura Kaigan

hide will always be a little over 33 years old.
his brother hiroshi has aged,
DIE, Pata, INA, Toshi, Chirolyn… they all have …even Heath,
even though it is harder to detect ha ha,
and yes so has Yoshiki….
we who go on…. we age….
hide doesn’t!
His playful recordings up on that roof top with Jennifer Finch,
will always be our hide.

The ocean remains the same….
yet at the same time…
The waves are proof that the ocean is also always active,
and ever-changing,

for us who go on aging… the ocean remains the same….
for us still here amongst the living, hide IS the same..
the same inspiration
the same voice
the same songs
the same call for love and Stay Free My MISERY

He is still with us, every day
like the ocean….