Opening My Eyes

Why write?
A memoir is a collection of memories.
My memories.
My selected memories.

Crazy_cool_Joe_me


Writing my story based on my memories from a series, or a selection,
of events and experiences in my life.
Certain memories will create a thread and with these memory threads
I will create a web of meaning and understanding.

I’m not writing an auto-biography.
Maybe I will later in life, but for now I’m just trying to make sense
of my life, by examining what I have gone through.
I am examining all my memories, and I’m already in the process of
getting ‘eureka moments’…
enlightenments and insights about myself.

The words of my mentor and friend echo in my head.
Over the past 3 years in particular she has been trying to
explain to me why I should refocus my energy…
stand my ground and
be true to my starting point.
Where was that? How did I begin?
What has changed?

Yui

And not drain myself the way I was doing.
Not giving of my time (and money) and energy
as much as I had been doing,
but focus on my foundation and my mission.
Yes,
Not follow the needs of others,
but stay true to my mission.

Stay true to my call from the sky.
True to my mission.
Keep my integrity.
And all along…..
this has been my responsibility to myself,
I can’t blame anyone else for this.
..and yet….. I wasn’t even aware….

hide

I wasn’t able to see it.
At all….!!
But ..well now seeing all these memories spread out on my time line,
I suddenly became aware!
I could see it!!
Aware of the change that has come into my work
into my life, over time.
And even if a lot of it was amazing, fun, wonderful memories,
I had also little by little changed my path.
I wasn’t even aware
and I was too proud to listen,
to even try to listen and understand.
and way too HAPPY with my life
just the way it was.
After all just recently I came out of surgery
and made it out alive from cancer.
I didn’t want to miss a single moment of the euphoria,
and the love I felt.

Anna Post cancer surgery Oxygen

Now I will just have to take these memories and put them into a story.
A story that will communicate my perspective and truth to others.

Tsuyoshi Smle Oct 2012

How I got from there … for example from  listening to
DAZZLE! and seeing Tsuyoshi’s smile.
….to this moment today!

According to http://writingthroughlife.com/
There are 5 reasons for writing

  1. Writing your memoir helps you to identify the threads and themes in your life and make sense of what you’ve lived.
  2. Writing about your life is a healing and transformative journey.
  3. Your memoir contributes to recorded history and is your legacy
    to family, friends, and the world.
  4. It provides a way to share your experiences, world view, life lessons, and wisdom with others.
  5. It connects you with others who have experienced the same or similar situations, providing encouragement, comfort, and inspiration. It helps others understand they are not alone in their experiences.

So yes this makes sense.
Number 1 I’m already starting to see the effects of.
The somewhat traumatic feelings in the beginning of this year
must have been a result of previous actions.
If I don’t examine those previous events, I won’t ever be able to grow,
to learn
to move forward
without understanding, I won’t be ale to heal
so number 2 is also a given because..
well, because I do want to heal,
I want to amend,
I want to forgive
and to be forgiven.
I want to be understood!

Number 3 Is a hope for me, that through my story readers will gain
a peek into scenes they might be interested in.
Maybe some of you have thought about a similar journey,
Maybe you want to know more on a personal level how I
with my Western background (whatever that is?)
interpreted what I experienced in Japan.
Maybe my Japanese friends, and Japanese people in general,
want to know more about who I am?
What I have done in Japan.
Who I met.
What the outcome was…
well nr 4 then ties in with the above.

Number 5 .. Maybe so… that remains to be seen if there are others
out there who feel they can connect with my journey..
because
yes I long for being understood,
and like all people I want to feel like I belong somewhere,
that I am connected.

So how do I go about this?
Well honestly I have never before written a book.
So I need skills and tools.
According to Stephen King, and many other authors,
reading is essential, as is writing.
So that’s why I started this blogging streak,
to get it going…
For reading I read both non-fiction and fiction.
Non-fiction for picking up skills,
fiction to improve my vocabulary.

Telling True Stories

This was it for today!
Tomorrow I’m thinking of sharing some actual memories with you!

 

 

 

 

HAPPINESS is…..

…to see a smile you have been longing to see again for a very long time!

When I was at the hospital, in pain, after surgery, and fighting to get  well again, I used to look at this photo with Tsuyoshi from DAZZLE!
He told me to use his smile as medicine, so I did, every day I looked at this SMILE and I believe that this positive energy helped me… and longed for the day I would see it again!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now the day had come when I had a chance to thank him for it!   And it was really a pleasure to see them ALL again! It brought back many smiles to my heart! They know what they are doing, the are 4 great musicians and they have their own thing going!

JUN

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Tsuyoshi

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

DAZZLE! デジール [including a blog reading reminder]

 

Don’t forget to read this blog BACKWARDS…. as in the FIRST post from November 13th, is found below here… It makes it a bit inconvenient when one is blogging a few posts from the same event….

I was thinking I should post a few photos of each one of them..
So here is JUN, DAZZZLE!’s vocalist

JUN blogged about 11-13 on their livedoor blog:

http://blog.livedoor.jp/damagefactory/