The Bridge

Last entry ended with these words:

“And I believed him…
in a way I still do.
The bridge however… is another story.”

and then “To be continued…”
so now  will pick up where I left off…hopefully…

Right now I am going back in this very blog..
way back to 2011 when I first started blogging on Tumblr.
Once I started The Pink Spider Web I imported all the old
blog posts a total of 350 some pages, each containing 3-4 posts.
The migration didn’t go without technical issues though!
All titles got fucked up,
links broke, video plug-ins didn’t work and
all images got weirdly resized.
When I first started The Pink Spider Web, keeping up the
momentum was number one priority, so the old blog entries
got edited and fixed some 10 pages or so back in time…
the rest went on the back-burner.
That meant blogs about Seremedy in Japan,
Inazuma Rock Fes, concerts with TMR, MUCC, L’Arc~En~Ciel,
and many many more
… just had to wait for the day to come
and the need for it all to resurface.

It was OK, I had to focus on what I was wanting to achieve,
and the old blog wasn’t really aiding that
Well now, when I’m in the process of writing this book,
all these hundreds and hundreds of posts,
the photos and videos are incredibly valuable.

When I now again read about my
dreams, hopes,
ideas, passion, 
motivation … the drive
that I had then 6 years ago,
it was very much the same as it is today:
Same dreams, hopes, aspirations, and motivation.
I want to build bridges.
Close gaps.
Help people reach outside their comfort zone.
Turn on passionate fires.
Increase Peace
Make people see their own values in all of this.
Help musicians understand and learn how to connect
with audiences they aren’t familiar with, or are even
physically far away from.
That HAS BEEN and still IS my ultimate goal!
I want people to learn from each other and
change in a good way. including myself!
Change their ways, become more open-minded to
‘the other’…
I wish to…
build bridges and show people how the can meet
at the middle of the bridge!

Rainbow Bridge

The bridge metaphor works well because it connects
two landmasses, two entities, and it is something tangible.
A bridge something we can step onto,  and walk or travel over,
from one side to the other.

When I first met Reds in April 2013, we instantly connected.
It was at a Live gig with Blade™ at Club Sensation.
The fact that we ended up meeting was quite amazing in
itself, but the blog is not the place to explain all that in detail.
I will go into more detail about that in the book.

I could feel his eagerness to wanting to reach out.
I had learned already prior to meeting him, that connecting
with Japanese people aren’t that easy in general,
and connecting with musicians maybe in particular.
Often the musicians in Japan don’t speak English,
which for our collaboration purpose at this level is
less of a problem.

Reds 04 2013

What is an issue however, is that they live on their end
of a bridge.
They are used to certain ways of doing things.
They have their ways of promoting themselves.
Their ways of reaching their fans.
Their already loyal fans, I might add, whom they wish to keep
and not scare by suddenly leaving them hanging.
Also most, like Reds, aren’t even aware of this.
Culture differences are more seen as peculiar ways.
Like we Westerners, we hug each other in public,
and we hug our friends.
The deeper differences cannot be seen, and are way
trickier to become aware of.
Because no one, is aware of them when we are around
people that are similar to us.
And keep in mind, Japan is a very homogenous society.
A society which also strives to stay homogenous.
We, as in mankind, cannot see how we communicate
within our own group,
how we socialize and hang out with each other,
as anything but .. well it’s the normal way!
that’s the way people are…
Not until we really start to get to know someone different,
from a different place, and meet with them a lot of over a
longer period of time.
So if you have few foreigners coming, and you cannot really
talk to the ones that do because you don’t speak English,
and you maintain an idea that the foreign is a bit scary,
then this bridge is seldom walked.

When I entered the music scene  in Japan, and I started
meeting with bands like:
Vagu*Project, DAZZLE! and Vorchaos to name few.
I almost immediately became aware of this.
Not soon enough maybe…. LOL
I presented for Vagu*Project some brilliant ideas,
only to later learn, that in their minds all this was good and
all, but really also very, very strange.
I had walked over the bridge and presented for them how
it looks on the other side of the bridge.
They liked it, sure they did, but added:
That only works on the other side of the bridge,
not here.
And Anna-san by the way…
What is Facebook?
We have ameblo アメブロ. (This was in 2011-2012)

I explained all this for Reds, I told him what I had learned,
and he said…Nah, I want this, my band (AURA)
and I need this:
I want to reach many people with my music.
This is wonderful and a great start!

Where I think I failed early on was to explain, truly convey,
is that this requires you to change.
This failure however, went on under the surface….
the whole time… and still is there ..unfortunately!
What I failed to make him understand is:
YOU must walk on that bridge and adopt to other ways,
at least 50%… HALF WAY.
You must do a lot of the work, and the change.
I haven’t been able to make this happen!
Also you have to change and you must be brave, 
and go against what people around you want you to do!
Being brave… hmm that is very difficult for anyone to be,
also for Reds.
For any artist, also for Reds, being liked, is so so important.
Being liked by others kind of clashes with the idea of
being brave, and doing things against those around you,
or as in Japan in particular, above you!

Thing is Japan … well..Japan is very demanding society
also for the Japanese themselves.
They are proud of their harmony,
proud of their low crime rates,
proud of having a stable society.
Which is great!
Great …but not yielding change.
You can’t go against the people above you!
You can never stir anything similar to conflict,
never oppose, instead instill group harmony.
So that doesn’t help any kind of change.

Neither negative change,
nor positive…
In a way it kind of muffles and even hinders creativity at times.
Not that Japanese might agree with me here,
but that’s OK. Because if everyone around you
.. on the same side of the bridge as you are…
agrees with you, and knows this to be true,
then it is.

This is of course true on both sides of the bridge!
I just happen to be writing about my experiences in Japan.
I need to adjust and take in to account the social rules
in Japan, and listen to how they do things and what they
desire and wish.
Also one cannot behave in a Western way and assume
people will listen to you or even like your
ideas. Often though they really do listen!
They just won’t act upon it.

This is why I was delighted to meet Reds though,
because he intuitively felt like it fit in with his own
ideas about the future, AND maybe more importantly
he smiled and was very positive.
We did have some problems communicating this evening,
because Reds did not speak any English,
and I still did not speak Japanese.

How did we communicate?
Very creative way actually…
and I will tell you in the next blog!




Akatsuki Yami

More good music…what a passion in this voice… in the song…

MUCC –  Akatsuki Yami – Darkness


First in Romaji and below in English

shinitakute me wo tojita
boku no subete mu ni kaeshi
kioku kara kietai to nemurezu kangaeteita

kumorizora ame chiratsuite
kinou no tenki, uso no you.
“ikiru kutsuu mo niteru na” to, ame ni utarete mita

kaze, hitotabi fukeba
utsurou keshiki dou korobu?

fukaku zekkai no soko e to shizumi hitori,
kara ni komoredo
urei wa muda to satosu sono egao ni sukuwareru

fukaku oboromori yami e to susumi kokoro mayu ni tozasedo
nageki no ito mure wo hodoki

akatsuki no yami tatazumite kono te ni nokorishi nukumori ni tou
itsuka seseragi ni sasabune ukabe
ano basho e kaeremasu ka?

ame ni, tsubuyaita
“ashita, tenki ni nare”

I wanted to close my eyes and die
Return myself to nothing
I wanted to erase my memories and sleep without thought
Cloudy skies and flickering rain
Like yesterdays weather was a lie
The rain tried to beat it into me,
“stop reflecting lifes misery.”
The wind,if it blows for a moment
How will it change the veiw as I fall?
Even as I’m confined to this shell,
I sink to the depths of the distant sea alone
There is no point in my pleading with my sorrow,
I’ll be saved by your smiling face.
Even though my heart is locked away in a cocoon,
I venture into the darkened misty forest
The threads of grief, an unraveling tangle
I attempt to withstand the moonless dawn and care
for the warmth left in my hands
Some day I will float a *sasabune* down a little stream
Can I ever return to that place?
I murmured to the rain
“things will be better tomorrow”




Latitudes and Fuzz

TOKYO…. 東京

How I love this place, how it has entangled me in its

I live here NOW,
PINK INK BLOT indicates more exact location,

I’m a map nerd… and right now I am at

35.67814548626268 N LAT

139.692964553833 LONG

As a latitude comparison this is not too far off from
Albuquerque, NM, USA 35.0853° N
or Los Angeles, CA  34.0522° N
but Stockholm is a lot further north  … 59.3293° N
and so is London, UK 51.5074° N
and Paris, France 48.8566° N
New York City is getting closer but North 40.7128° N
Malta is about the sam 35.9375° N
which means that even Rome is North of Tokyo 41.9028° N
I find this so fascinating… the world and how we perceive it
Kathmandu, Nepal for example is South of Tokyo 27.7172° N
Tehran, Iran, is almost the same as Tokyo 35.6892° N
as is Kabul, Afghanistan,  34.5553° N

Ok enough with my nerdiness….
Often though I pinch myself….
am I really here?
From way up there in the North (Sweden)
I lived many years in the USA and I feel like
I am a spider looking at my web
which now is spun in Tokyo…. Japan

My web of interactions and relationships
of good vibes and total failures.

This fall, these past 4-5 months, has been so special to me
and walking in this huge city is one of the best things of all!!
The parks, the buildings, the people, the art that is within everything
the ART that is self-created…
How I want to continue to breathe this inspiration and


How I  desire, that this is where I will continue to spin my web….

Then of course now and then make a jump… a giant leap somewhere
and I still have HEARTS and LOVING FEELINGS that I have dropped,
but not forgotten around the world…
In Sweden, in USA, in Germany, in Thailand, in Vanuatu, in Switzerland,
in Spain, in Colombia, in Taiwan…. to name a few…
friends all over the world…

but always come back here to the ZEN and the NOISE 
all at ONCE!
Zen and Noise …the city of Tokyo
I’m slightly infatuated… no I am passionately in LOVE! 

I am forever indebted to many, but for this PASSION, for this LOVE,
for the guidance, but also confusion of course…

In my head right now I hear MUCC lyrics…

FUZZ by MUCC lyrics




東京 コイントス ダイブ
東京 コイントス ダイブ
愛しい恋人よ 抱きしめさせてくれよ

悲しい位人間で 自分勝手。

制御不可能な位 恋に落ちてさよなら

東京 コイントス ダイブ
東京 コイントス ダイブ
愛しい恋人よ ここから さぁ、飛び込もう

an English translation

Listening to you sing quietly to yourself i was overhelmed with love
And held your hand while we waited on the subway platform
Why don’t you sing that song for me once more
My sweet and happy songbird

This day will turn into tomorrow
So why don’t we keep it as a memory
We’ve only just parted but i already miss you
This time I’ve fallen deep
You are not with me now

Is it the seasons that change?
Or is it our hearts?

Tokyo, Toss of a coin, Dive
Before my heart works out which one is the answer
Tokyo, Toss of a coin, Dive
Sweetie, let me hold you

There will come a day when it’s as clear as the sky
Water turns to cloud, sky turns to wind, and i turn to thoughts of you
I’m so humane it’s pitiful, and so selfish too
And then

I fall in love so much i loose all self-control, and it’s goodbye
This planet revolves on encounters and separations
An unexpected reunion would be a joy
The heartbeat that was wrung out

Tokyo, Toss of a coin, Dive
It was you who knocked on the rusted doors of my heart, wasn’t it?
Tokyo, Toss of a coin, Dive
Sweetie, come to me and dive on in

We’ve fallen in love