I can feel the kiss

I recorded this video clip in Vanuatu 2010.
The true beginning…as every day is a beginning.
I just wasn’t aware of it then, that the trip to Vanuatu
was going to set-off a chain reaction of events,
that lead from this moment in Vanuatu,
to my ‘new life’ in Japan just a year later.

The amount of accumulated special moments since then
until this present moment, is huge!
So what I am doing, is to spread them out on my
enormous time line.
I have divided the time-line spanning from little before this
video in Vanuatu until today, and on it I add photos.
To each photo I add a note with event name,
for example “Live gig at Meguro Live Station with xxx band”.

Under the line I also add notes like departure times for
flights, visits from abroad, and everything else.
Just to keep track of all the places I’ve been…
is a task in itself
During the years I cover (about 6-7 years), besides my life in Japan,
I lived in or visited (not in order and many I visited several times):
USA: Arizona, California, Colorado, Nevada, New Mexico,  Texas,
Utah, and Washington
UK including London and Wales, Sweden, Germany, Laos, Ukraine,
Azerbaijan, India, Nepal, Thailand, Hong Kong, Taiwan
Vanuatu, Mexico, Canada, Singapore
…. and more
and in Japan, I traveled a total of 6 weeks with Japan Rail Pass.
From northern Tohoku to Kyushu and a lot of it in between.

The program I use for this purpose is called ‘Scapple’
and it’s really invaluable to my book writing project.

In the photo below I combined two screen shots.
In the upper half,
one can see one year (of approximately 7 years total)
In the lower half one can see
how it looks closer up.
I still need to add more notes about each event,
for example names of band members at a live,
or who was with me at a certain bar and so on.


It is however time-consuming!
Often I find my mind wandering off.
A photo generate an intense feeling of
actually being there.
I can smell the flowers.
I can hear the music.
I can feel the kiss on my lips.
I can hear arguments and conflicts.
I can sense the love
It’s all embedded in this time line.
And the questions arise.
Why?  Why did we meet?
Why did I choose this or that?
It is also time consuming by the whole
metod in itself,
but in the end, I’m sure this is the best way!

Memories, but also a future.
My future.
Our future.
I have no doubt that even if I’m writing my book
about the past, it is not finished.
My story is not finished.
Friendship, and relationships,
continue in to the future.
My book is a snippet of this
It really has no true beginning,
nor is it by any means
over yet!



How about….

OK so how about sharing joy?
Sharing fun?

How about
Sharing accountability?
Sharing responsibility?
Sharing chores?
Sharing wealth?
Sharing possessions?
Sharing time?
Sharing hardships?
Many beautiful words:
Peace, love, friendship,
carry a lot of uncomfortable feelings
behind their cheerful facade.
There is always more we can do
to grow
True love, and true life
cannot be ignored.
It does matter
what you choose to do
Heart Sparkles


Vagu*Project a year ago….


A year ago there was still no information in English about them to be found anywhere. After the October 28, 2011 Live at Urawa Narciss, I went on my little South East Asia trip to see X Japan, and to meet friends in the SE Asia region. When I got back to Japan, I and my friend Shingo-san spent a week searching online, even for some information in Japanese. Eventually we did find them! I went on another Live with them, and another one, and another one….
and by then the LOVE was a full bloom and I had a PASSION for Vagu*Project!

I so wanted to share this beyond the blogging about them, so in the end of December we started the Vagu*Project Facebook Page. If you still aren’t part of this awesome group come join us!! ‘LIKE’ the page and be part of the Road Workers who want to make an international way for these AWESOME Japanese Rocking entertainers. They are down to earth, very passionate about what they do and very easy to fall in LOVE with!!!


and yes LOL on the sign outside of Narciss you can read the reason as to why I happen to be there that night… the Swedish VRock band “Seremedy” was there and I wanted to check them out while they were playing here in Tokyo. (^.-) Vagu*Project came on stage right after….

Wonderful Performance

My Beloved Vagu*Project pulled yet another wonderful performance tonight Oct 21, 2012 at Shinjuku Wild Side !

Dear Vagu*Project: YuI-san, Ryo-san and Shinya-san, I LOVE YOU guys!  ♡ 

Oh and talking about LOVE ….Tonight I got an Aha-moment, one of those Eurekas….

Well I guess I have been thinking about ot for a while, and it pops up in my awareness now and then, but tonight it was so specially salient that I even remembered to write about it 😉

This is what’s been on my mind…

There are two kinds of bands, well there are many kinds of bands of course, but from the perspective of LOVE, I often find that there are two kinds of bands.
1.There are bands who are up on stage that radiates a sense of:

“DEAR audience, we Love YOU!”

2.Then there are bands that when up on stage seems to send a message stating something like:

“Dear audience, Love US!”

Thinking about what some of the bands I like here in Japan have in common (especially while on stage) it’s exactly that first kind of statement.
Seeing Vagu*Project, DAZZLE!, VoRCHAOS, and even more known artists like MIYAVI, Ra:IN, X Japan etc etc...they all have that;


AND that is part of their Charisma, their entertainment bonus that makes them special, that makes one like them, not only for their skills, the music and their all over talent…

I have seen many bands that ‘yes, I like their music’, but to go beyond that,
I think for me personally at least, going to a Live gig and see a band that transmits that second feeling is somewhat of a turn-off, and even if I can like the music they play, it’s NOT the same mutual LOVE feeling…. and hence it’s NOT that total WOW!... it can be impressive yes… but not that: I LOVE YOU TOO…. since there is no real too, but more of a ‘Dear band, you might be good but you have an attitude issue’ or
‘Dear band, You dont come across as having a passion for what you do!’

Then again…. we are all different as audience as well, and for some of you this might not matter much…I f the Music is good, if the BAND ROCK YOUR way then all is good.

No judging or evaluation here between differences is values and rationals or emotions.

Anyway this is Vagu*Project from earlier tonight, 10-21-2012 at Shinjuku Wild Side.

‘C Over’ Please enjoy! 

Vagu*Project LOVE

Vagu*Project’s BEST LIve… (that I have been at) ever!!

My heart is so full with feelings and thoughts that I would like to convey to you somehow… 
About leaving Japan, well I have a ticket booked to return April 7, but leaving is leaving and  it did stir up a lot of painful emotions.
About my last days in Japan and what I and Phoe-Lo did.
About friendship, almost like sisterhood
About MUSIC… or more specifically about Rock in Japan
About PASSION and LOVE for the people I have met, the MUSIC some of them make, and the FIRE of happiness for being ALIVE and really enjoying it sooooo much!

… and of course about Vagu*Project.…who had a gig the very last night I spent in Japan this time… a gig that was just AWESOME on sooo many levels….
However, the one thing that did not go my way, and I wont whine a lot about this or repeat it, is that for once most of my visual came out ok, but this time the audio totally messed up.
Probably for the following reasons, I did not double check the recording volume beforehand which I have been lazy about lately..
Second, the Thumb Up LIVE house had a louder standard average than most places me and Phoe-lo been to, or well it could have been the genre and music played as well or a mix of both…
and last but not least..
I stood pretty close to the loudspeaker, and the stage, this night. I wanted to feel so close up and engrave every facial expression, every glance, every detail from this gig, and keep it in my memory for the whole time, until I will be able to see them again.

Last gig Jan 31 (at Ruido K4), wasn’t really a disappointment, I wouldn’t go that far, because THEIR Performance was all ok, but the whole night just didn’t go well from the get go, and I could ONLY HOPE that this evening wouldn’t be a recap of that night.

Luckily it did not happen, instead the evening at Thumb Up felt really good and the starting band started really dramatic with a lit candle on stage and well they were good and according to Phoe-Lo the vocalist rather quite entertaining and funny and he was flanked with two really good musicians so yeah this looked promising…
I cannot now after my flights find where I put the list of order the bands came in, so I’m sorry I will have to get back to you with their name.
I wish live houses could put up links to performing bands homepages or similar or at least make sure the order on schedule page is what really came about…
talking about links here is theirs:

I cannot tell you why they mean so much to me. It is not just the music, it’s not ONLY the amazing natural behavior and skillful entertaining they put up, it is not the fire in their smile or eyes alone… it’s the WHOLE packaged deal!
So naturally good vibes..and after the gig we managed to get a short chat with them before we had to rush to the train station in Kashiwa (quite a way to go from the Narita hotel I stayed at the last night).

I wanted to give them something, so I gave them a framed photo collage with photos I have taken from all the LIVEs since the one when I saw them October 28th after Seremedy. I have been to all but one, which was due to a schedule clash.
Since I arrived in Japan in September I have seen MANY other bands/musicians that I like…LOVE even… and that I will do my best to spread the word about across the globe: lix, HeavensDust, Kiss the World, Ra:IN, Solitude, Mad Beavers, grace period, Aresz, Rubik,X-Japan, Sugizo Solo, Juno reactor, Hammersmith, CUTT, TMR, Abingdon Boys School, Dragon Ash, Miyavi … to name a few… but well as you all must be aware of by now…
Vagu*Project has a special place because it is a band that I stumbled across that touched my heart.
The framed photo collage, which I will show at a later time because of the fact that I will use it for fundraising, will be printed on PostCards with link to their more internationally functioning website (also in English that is) and to their Facebook and blogs.
These guys deserve a one man show and I want to do everything I can to help them make that happen. I hope you all, or at least a few of you can share this goal with me, and SUPPORT them emotionally as well as financially with buying their music and going to their LIVEs!
They seemed to be happy and the whole, abeit short, farewell-see-you-in-April, made me leave with a SMILE inside, and it also felt as if I could now leave with a CONTENT feeling, and not crying or miserable.
They are three very special people; sincere in what they are doing and straightforward in their attitude about their love for what they do.
There is absolutely nothing fake about these guys.
The set list for the evening (from Ryo-san’s ameblo blog)
Enjoy this best at a tad lower volume than normal….

Set list