Thank you soo much for messages (like the one quoted below)
here on tumblr, to my email and on Facebook!
I’m seriously touched, and it makes me feel even more convinced that
I AM doing the right thing, and hide indeed knows what he is doing when
he is inspiring me to make a WEB through music.
A web of friendship and LOVE that reaches across borders and cultures;
A PINK SPIDER WEB that works through MUSIC and within people…
and touches our HEARTS!!
” I just love your posts! I guess I am kind of living vicariously here XD
Took a lot of guts to do what you did, I admire you quite a lot.
It’s also a joy to run into another passionate adult music fan.

Love & Tokyo

This is about LOVE….. and about  東京 TOKYO

私は東京を大好きです …….

and I’m starting to feel that this for me means an attachment

The moment you start loving you take a risk  of also feeling
low and sad
when the love no longer is reciprocated … or like in my case:
leaving this city even for a month or two….
because of the attachment…

and yes, yes, I know what you will tell me….
I can still love Tokyo, which is great and I’m sure of it,
but due to this attachment I will definitely feel a separation and
it will hurt….

Second thought coming up, is that I have been traveling all my life,
lived here and there across the globe,  but never felt this way to a
place before…. only to people!
WHY do I feel such a strong bond with Japan,
and especially to Tokyo

When I wrote Tokyo above I really meant my emotional area of Tokyo,
which is way bigger than Tokyo proper.

Now I will repeat the Miura Reien story in the next blog or so,
because it probably has some valid insights and clues…
My reason for breaking up from everything, and doing
the Pink Spider jump out to the unknown….
the flying with the clouds and letting go…..
I’m not dead yet…. I’m still here…
but the story and the path taken during 2011 might explain
why I’m suddenly able to feel LOVE again…
LOVE, also for people…. really scary business!




Club Citta says: Happy Birthday hide!






Get a feel video

hide’s BIRTHDAY Party 2011

so you can get a feel for how it was to be there…
Not allowed to video shoot the actual live performances though




Never ending stream of cosplayers

hide ….

if you love hide, then this is a must go to event!

Personally I do have issues when there is too much merch hysteria
around hide’s person, but this is beyond merchandise and objects…

This is a Love Fest…. a tribute, a fest, a fiesta, a birthday party,
a music fest, a VIsual Kei Day, a live gig day…
One giant celebration!

Also an afternoon and evening to just totally immerse in hide’s music,
his creativity and all that he left for us,
the people that he left behind…
many of them were here at Club Citta
and many of them performing, making music,
and just lovingly present and perform together

and they shared their love, and pain as well,
just imagine for a moment…
close your eyes and think of someone you love,
a very close friend, a very very close friend….
then just imagine the unthinkable…
this person dies long before you do…..
and then still lives on in the world through fans, through music that
becomes legendary,  through images..
everywhere and every day around you

Now of course that gives you a lot of happiness Im sure…
Others are able to hear the music, feel the love, the extreme
creativity that overflows from hide…..
and yet there is also the pain of loss..
Yoshiki talks about it, and so does many of the others,
but the one I sense it from the most…
who seems to send vibes of pain from loss the most, is I.N.A.
His birthday is the day before hide’s…
not just December 12th, but he was born before midnight
and the date became December 13th, that same year, 1964.

I don’t know them well enough, or their story, I wasn’t around in
Japan way back when… so this is only from my own perception,
seeing these people up close
When I.N.A. talked about hide,  and he was up there playing hide’s
videos and songs…
I just felt his body having a certain level of
pain but also of love of course

a rusty nail……

I’m looking at a rose painted on my memory’s pieces
It covers my interrupted memories in my unchanged dreams
Oh rusty nail

If I only let my tears flowing,
I would perhaps be able to forget you
Just tell me my life
Wherever I will walk,
In my tears I won’t see my tomorrows

I forget the ended week-end’s wounds
Even shrouded by the flowing time they pierce my heart
Oh rusty nail

If I only let my tears flowing,
I would perhaps be able to forget you
An asleep rose of a beautiful color faded
Blooms in your heart

If your smiling face lived, certainly
The night reflecting in your eyes would only let a shining dream
You go and meet morning, forgetting loneliness
You shroud with your tears your red wrists
Night is ending

My memory’s door shakes when I close it
It covers my interrupted memories on my blue lips
Oh rusty nail

If I only let my tears flowing,
I would perhaps be able to forget you
Just tell me my life
Wherever I will walk,
In my tears I won’t see my tomorrows

Your broke my painful heart… even now
I can’t forget you