the Miracle.. hide’s voice called me!

DIE & CUTT  rocking the place
(Ignore the Japanese names for now :P)

Maybe I should write a lot about the music and such here…
or not….
Tonight I will tell you how totally amazing this is
To be here….
To see DIE-san and even chat with him afterwards.
………… Pink Spider you called me here!

Put yourself in my situation here…  just for a moment:
You live your life in whatever-country you are now
You learn your own native language. You grow up with your habits
and then you get a chronic and very bad illness already as a child.
An illness that now and then must be treated with tons of
medicines, and you often have a lot  of pain and suffering physically!

For those of you who know me since childhood, it is no
surprise that I have been fighting my illness and kicking back hard
and often not chosen the easiest path…
it all came to this!
The sense of pride I have tonight for my accomplishments!
Maybe I’m not the most successful person in every other person’s
but I am very grateful that I have this crazy gift of courage!
Because now after growing up in your place many years later
you rebel against everything as you know it,
You say EFF YOU to your illness (and actually I did not even bring
any pain meds here to Japan)

I settled in the center of a city with 3 times as many people
as my whole native country, and I don’t understand S*&T of what
people are saying, and I can’t read their language either
But I still figure out where to go to find these amazing people
…. that my heart told me to find.

In May when I first came to Miura Reien…
I didn’t know why I was there…
Then even more crazy than some people probably thought was
possible, I uprooted from everything i ‘have’ or by now… had….
friends (but not really my heart is always with me), house,
marriage, car, clothes, jewelry, paintings, dogs, schedule,
professors, campus, grocery stores, foods, smells, loves……
and all the other things you know you are attached to…

I left them for this….
to be here in a bar, with people I don’t know,
who speak a language I don’t speak,  just because an inner
voice told me to jump and leave it all behind….
Yes this is it !!! this is really it….
I was lead HERE!!
This is where a PINK SPIDER would land after that crazy longing
for the sky….for freedom, for a new life
Imagine …
I followed an inner voice from hide in May,
and here I am sitting and chatting with DIE-san, one of hide’s
band-mates and close friends, a little less than 6 months later!!

ピンクスパイダー 空は呼んでいる

THANK YOU  ALL!!! This aint over yet…..  ♡





The Miura Shore

Miura Kaigan….the Miura Shore



I know that it is different to actually be in a place compared to
looking at a photo.
You cannot hear the seagulls, the land birds chirping,
the waves hitting the shore, the wind..
You cannot smell the ocean; the salt, the roots hanging to dry,
the fishing nets, the hemp ropes…
but maybe the photos can convey that everything around this
bus stop (Miura reien) looks the same, or appears to look the same,
not including the changes of seasons.
Everything here breathes and tells you that:
everything here remains the same
Miura Kaigan is always Miura Kaigan

hide will always be a little over 33 years old.
his brother hiroshi has aged,
DIE, Pata, INA, Toshi, Chirolyn… they all have …even Heath,
even though it is harder to detect ha ha,
and yes so has Yoshiki….
we who go on…. we age….
hide doesn’t!
His playful recordings up on that roof top with Jennifer Finch,
will always be our hide.

The ocean remains the same….
yet at the same time…
The waves are proof that the ocean is also always active,
and ever-changing,

for us who go on aging… the ocean remains the same….
for us still here amongst the living, hide IS the same..
the same inspiration
the same voice
the same songs
the same call for love and Stay Free My MISERY

He is still with us, every day
like the ocean….





hide’s aura

hide  birthday at Miura Reien 2011

now after a night being all happy and wired at Narciss December 12th,
Keep in mind the reason Vagu*Project captured my heart:
The reason was at that the first time I saw Vagu*Project live I felt
hide’s presence…. we ALL felt it!!
My heart almost stopped that evening, and when we left that that night,
I remember asking my friends…
did you feel that? Sense that? See that? hmmm that….
that … … …?

… and the reply came fast… yeah, you mean hide?!

The Vagu guitarist Shinya who just has ”IT”
there is Something about him….the way he moves, acts, moves his eyes.
and YuI who radiates the mentally.. emotions… like wordlessly exhales
hide’s spirit.
NO, Shinya, the guitarist , does not look like hide.
He doesn’t even have crazy Visual Kei make up like the other two,
nor is he sporting some kind of hide wannabe   outfit…
YET he has something like an hide manners and body language,
YuI, the vocalist has the hide aura

He too doesn’t look like hide physically…
it is impossible to explain in any other way.
Shinya somehow behaves like hide. the way he treats his pick,
the way he looks at the others while playing,
YuI feels like he has an aura around him which is hide’s.
Shinya also plays in a band called
中国釣具店 (Chinese Fishing Tackle Store)
Shinya no longer does. He is now regular member in Vagu*Project

Anyway the transition is there
HIDE is the transition…
My physical transition from Vagu*Projects live to the cemetery was
however rapid, brutal and unkind ha ha ha
(and later that got some undesired consequences).
I got back home in decent time from Urawa (it’s quite a distance up in
Saitama prefecture, Northern metropolitan area of Tokyo.. suburbs)
but then I just had to rip the Vagu*Projects CDs,  and listen and
enjoy it all over again and share it here on te blog, and with my
beloved friend and all kinds of energizing activities instead of going
to rest and sleep.
Plus I had to research train schedules and maps for a bit of complicated
travel on December 13th
Having no internet on the phone is beyond frustrating ..
OK so bottom line… I got in bed a tad late for getting up at 9-ish..
needed to catch a train from here at 9.50 am
I did get up but not at 9 , but it was at 9-ish at least.

Getting down to Miura Reien was the easy part!
Done this before now.. felt like a pro.. ha ha

Departed around 10.10 am I think..
I don’t recall now if I left at 10 or 10.10 and that really doesn’t matter,
because going down there is no match.
Even the trick that JR has played on me before at Shinjuku Station
didn’t throw me off this time! ha ha ha
I take Odakyu line from home to Shinjuku then there one needs to catch
for example Shonan Shinjuku line to go to Yokohama.

Train leaves at JR Shinjuku Station Track number 1 BUT….
now this is the trick..
nowhere does it say in English that it is run via Tokaido line!!
So you just have to know the characters for Yokohama 横浜
and generally know what you are doing ha ha and look at the time,
and the schedule and the signs for the correct departure.

Yes I have never really told you much, or whined about, the fact
that life in Japan can be rather challenging at times.
This particular day had its fair share of mishaps because of it!
Anyway from home to Shinjuku, Shinjuku to Yokohama,
in Yokohama onto Keio line to go down to Miura Kaigan

NB: I used another way when I explained how to get down there
in the BLOG from this spring way back on this Blog now…
THAT other way is essential if you travel on a JR pass and want to
use it as much as u can, because
the JR Pass is not valid on the Keio line!!

Then the BUS from Miura Kaigan to Miura Reien, which I really
don’t even know the number of anymore…  I just steer to the right when
exiting the station and the bus stop (nr 2 I think it says on the Bus stop ha
but check with this blog on earlier posts before you jump on any bus by chance.
You can use search features for tags here on the PSW blog).

Then the beautiful shore I always have to stop a moment, or a
few minutes before leaving the ocean behind. Even this day even though
the crowd today lines up like a hide and X-inspired snake up the path.
I don’t think I was mentally prepared for that fact either!
The “so-many-people-there-today” deal.
Of course I realized this before leaving for Miura on his birthday,
but didn’t quite get it until I was there.
Personally as much as it is cool and fun to go up there with a friend,
I must recommend going there alone.
To stand looking out at that ocean and listening to hide’s voice
just grabs my heart every time! The boats up on the shoreline.
The fishing nets….




Tell Me

hide’s BIRTHDAY 

Video from Miura reien on his Birthday Dec 13th 2011

The videos from Miura are in honor of his BIRTHDAY
and also for ALL of those who couldn’t be up here today,
Japan or in Metropolitan Tokyo area.
Where ever you are and who ever you are…
hide is singing a song for you!

I’m telling you….

….. like pink clouds in the sky…. 

Tell me….

Even if I expose myself to the brilliant wind
It won’t go away, I look at myself
I come over to you, without showing my attitude
My outline is revealed

My body dances in illusion
A pantomime opposite of my heart
I bury the wounds which begin to open
In order to be myself

Tell me, somebody tell me, please tell me.
Even if it’s in inaudible words
Tell me, somebody tell me, please tell me.

Your voice has not reached me yet
Even if I search for a distorted love
I covet only what does not have an answer or meaning
My voice goes along
Until I’m ashes, I won’t be able to hear it

Tell me, somebody tell me, please tell me.
Who is the one who shuts my eyes?
Tell me, somebody tell me, please tell me.
Do I see you through my eyes?

Tell me, somebody tell me, please tell me.
Can I see myself in you?
Tell me, somebody tell me, please tell me.
I can’t see myself in me

Tell me, somebody tell me, please tell me.
Even if it’s in inaudible words
Tell me, somebody tell me, please tell me.

Your voice has not reached me yet

Singin’ my song for me.
Singin’ your song for you.
Singin’ my song for me.
Singin’ your song for you.





Blue is the color

The color of her hair made me think of
now Blue Blood I hear

hide BIRTHDAY 2011

at Miura Reien