Like a Thread from a Pink Spider Web

君は嘘の糸はり巡らし
小さな世界全てだと思ってた
近づくものは何でも傷つけて、
君は空が四角いと思っていた

「これがすべて…どうせこんなもんだろう?」

君は言った… それも嘘さ…
ケバケバしい君の模様が寂しそうで
極楽鳥が珍しく話しかけた

「蝶の羽いただいてこっち来いよ。
向こうでは思い通りさ。」

ピンクスパイダー 「行きたいなあ」
ピンクスパイダー 「翼が欲しい」

捕らえた蝶の命乞い聞かず
君は空を睨む

「傷つけたのは憎いからじゃない、
僕には羽が無く、あの空が高すぎたから」

「私の翼を使うがいいわ、スパイダー。
飛び続ける辛さを知らないあなたも、いつか気がつくことでしょう。
自分が誰かの手の中でしか飛んでいなかった事に。
そして、それを自由なんて呼んでいたことにも。」

借り物の翼ではうまく飛べず、
まっさかさま墜落してゆく

ピンクスパイダー 「もうだめだあ」
ピンクスパイダー 「空は見えるのに…」
ピンクスパイダー 「失敗だあ」
ピンクスパイダー 「翼が欲しい…」

わずかに見えたあの空のむこう、
鳥たちは南へ

「もう一度飛ぼう、この糸切り裂き 自らのジェットで
あの雲が通り過ぎたら…」

ピンクスパイダー 空は呼んでいる 
ピンクスパイダー ピンクスパイダー

桃色のくもが空を流れる

Sugizo – Tree of Life

SuGiZo – Tree of Life

I bought it on a day when the moon was FULL….
and this was one of the few things that worked out great today…
a lot of stuff did NOT go my way..
so this will be about my life and my day, my tree of life and not much about Sugizo LOL

Then again when I got home, around midnight, I summed it all up …

…and you know it’s really funky how we tend to emotionally really can mess up our
experiences, whether it be over a day, a week or a life time…
I was upset because for a ton of silly mishaps and ‘emergencies’.
I ended up being so delayed that I (and well Phoe-Lo too) had to skip a LIVE tonight

The other ‘bad’ thing that happened was that I bought a Japanese iTunes card and my American account still blocks it out.
So these two things made me think gaaah what a day…
but then when I looked at the whole picture….I saw something different, or maybe
I saw it differently
……
a hide-miracle happened, and I got a last minute appointment for doing the
tattoo
that I felt was so important to me already before leaving for Japan,
and was one of the must do things here in Japan!
I was just sitting at dinner time and talking with Phoe-Lo and I said to her:
“Well the tattoo I guess just wasn’t meant to happen, because the only time I have now
would be Thursday after 6 pm, and the only place I know about said they didn’t have any
times until next week….”
…..
Why does hide always have to do miracles in very the last minute ?? ha ha ha
After midnight I got an email in my inbox… one of the tattoo guys said he could
come in on Thursday and do it for me.. would 7PM/19:00 o’clock be a good time…
WOW… Yes yes yes!
by the way this is the text that will be embodied …or embedded or.. inked…
or ha ha ha ha  it will be tattooed…

ピンクスパイダー 空は呼んでいる

the very same words I heard at Miura Reien in May…when I decided that YES I should
jump, leap, fly… and catch a pink cloud …and be in Japan….for a reason that wasn’t
totally clear to me.….

Also I was upset at Tower Records in Ikebukuro for not having the Ra:IN album I wanted
to buy…but I should choose to be happy that they could put one on hold in the
Shibuya store for it…
See there is always a choice on how to react.…but we all tend forget that..

Same when the Izakaya here downstairs had no table … first I was upset..
or well not toooo bad, but I was a little annoyed, but then, because of it, we
decided to go to the little Spanish place across the street.. and
WOW I got a glass of the best Rioja Crianza wine with just the perfect temperature…
so what am I really whining about and WHY?

To relearn takes time because we need to unlearn old ways of thinking first,
old ways of reacting to our reality….

The best thing today though, was also the reason that I was delayed
( and still I felt negatively about it… weird),
was that I printed out the art work I have been working on.
It came out way better than I could possibly have hoped for, so once again I had proved
to myself that rethinking and abolishing evaluation, as well as not dividing life in terms of
good and bad is the WAY TO GO!!

I am sad, yes I am sad, to leave Japan, but on the other hand I am also
sooooo happy to be able to see some of my beloved people in the US.
Friends that I miss and love..
and now tonight, when I sat online I received a few messages that means the world to me… and I felt how my inner core started to fire up and sparkle by the thought alone
of seeing this friend again!
oh you LIFE … I OWE you MY everything…
oh yes, my life has a life of its own and it is quite
fascinating to UNFOLD it….

oh and regarding my tattoo, I got it at Tokyo Hardcore Tattoo
Highly recommend them!
https://www.facebook.com/TOKYO-HARD-CORE-TATTOO-188100754537592/

 

 

 

 

 

DIE-san

DIEs XMas Special in Yokohama

You cannot see DIE-san here, but listen…
just close your eyes and listen to the keyboard…
It is DIE-san
isn’t this just plain AWESOME?

 

 

the Miracle.. hide’s voice called me!

DIE & CUTT  rocking the place
(Ignore the Japanese names for now :P)

Maybe I should write a lot about the music and such here…
or not….
Tonight I will tell you how totally amazing this is
To be here….
To see DIE-san and even chat with him afterwards.
………… Pink Spider you called me here!

Put yourself in my situation here…  just for a moment:
You live your life in whatever-country you are now
You learn your own native language. You grow up with your habits
and then you get a chronic and very bad illness already as a child.
An illness that now and then must be treated with tons of
medicines, and you often have a lot  of pain and suffering physically!

For those of you who know me since childhood, it is no
surprise that I have been fighting my illness and kicking back hard
and often not chosen the easiest path…
it all came to this!
The sense of pride I have tonight for my accomplishments!
Maybe I’m not the most successful person in every other person’s
eyes…
but I am very grateful that I have this crazy gift of courage!
Because now after growing up in your place many years later
you rebel against everything as you know it,
You say EFF YOU to your illness (and actually I did not even bring
any pain meds here to Japan)

I settled in the center of a city with 3 times as many people
as my whole native country, and I don’t understand S*&T of what
people are saying, and I can’t read their language either
But I still figure out where to go to find these amazing people
…. that my heart told me to find.

In May when I first came to Miura Reien…
I didn’t know why I was there…
Then even more crazy than some people probably thought was
possible, I uprooted from everything i ‘have’ or by now… had….
friends (but not really my heart is always with me), house,
marriage, car, clothes, jewelry, paintings, dogs, schedule,
professors, campus, grocery stores, foods, smells, loves……
and all the other things you know you are attached to…

I left them for this….
to be here in a bar, with people I don’t know,
who speak a language I don’t speak,  just because an inner
voice told me to jump and leave it all behind….
Yes this is it !!! this is really it….
I was lead HERE!!
This is where a PINK SPIDER would land after that crazy longing
for the sky….for freedom, for a new life
Imagine …
I followed an inner voice from hide in May,
and here I am sitting and chatting with DIE-san, one of hide’s
band-mates and close friends, a little less than 6 months later!!

ピンクスパイダー 空は呼んでいる

THANK YOU  ALL!!! This aint over yet…..  ♡

 

 

 

 

New Business Card

アンナケイ Reframing myself into a new Business card….
cursing at Photoshop for not helping me in the process… ha ha

This Rage against the Machine  obviously continues ….