Editing

Yesterday I posted a short video with a tunnel.
I’m quite fascinated by tunnels as a metaphor for transformation,
transgression, change, and  …. life

Tunnels can be dark and murky, and we talk about seeing the light
at the end of the tunnel.
Those tunnels can be scary, and we hope, and often believe,
that the coming out of the tunnel we will be free, happy and content.

Sometimes the tunnel is like the one in the blog post below,
It’s not dark at all….
bright and illuminated,
but still a place that takes us from one ‘reality’ to another.
The walking in a tunnel is a walk with an aim,
you don’t want to stay in that place forever.
The goal is really to get out of there.
You just have to get going…
In September 2011 I was in such a  bright kind of tunnel.

I was really happy. I was at Inazuma Rock Fes
On stage were great bands like:
Def Tech, Dragon Ash, Abingdon Boys School, and Gazette
Yet at the end of one of my blog entries from that week end I had written:

… a PURPOSE …
Do I have one?
I believe I do!
I just need to find it.

Eventually later that year I did find my purpose.
My mission met my passion.
The music in Japan and the live scene.
Somehow I was out of the bright tunnel and had found my path.

And once out I met tons of amazing people!
Tetsu great drummer (for ex. mintmints, ex. Ra:IN)  here a night
when we had drinks together at his bar Boogie Stock in Shin-Daita.

Going to live gigs I met some amazing people,
often one contact introduced me to another,
and got to know, and work with, many Japanese musicians up close.
One such band was Vorchaos.
We discussed strategies for bands in general, and for them in particular,
how to make it in this new global world.
I’m so happy they still play together and keep on going!

and time went on .. I wasn’t in a tunnel.
I was on a path! Out and about!
I had direction and purpose.
When you are on a path you don’t contemplate much.
There isn’t the same feeling present, as there is when you are in a tunnel.
You don’t search for the light at the end.
You just enjoy the ride.


With Derinjar at Chelsea Hotel  about 2 years ago.

And I sure enjoyed everything!

Now I am back in a tunnel… but another kind of tunnel.
This one is almost pitch black. Or it has been….
I’m beginning to see the light,
I’m going through change,
and I’m using the contemplative nature of being in a tunnel,
to think about what will be on the other side.
Often we just don’t know what will come…

What has happened … during my time on the path,
is that somewhere along the road,
I started listening to how other people thought I should act.
Where I should put my time.
How I should do things
How I should prioritize my time..

But now ….in the middle of the dark tunnel….
I woke up…
and Im back at a mental place where I am more in charge.
And I’m being creative.
I might not at all know what will come at the other end,
but I know this much..
there is an end also to this tunnel!

“This is my life,
my story,
my book,
and I will no longer let anyone else write it.
nor will I apologize for the edits I make”
Steve Maraboli

 

 

 

It’s a Tunnel

Almost 6 years ago
In a tunnel in Northern Japan (Tohoku)
It’s not the best video quality.
It’s really not much content at all,
but I’m busy working today.
and this video might,
or might not,
speak to you,,,,
as it speaks to me.
I’m fascinated by many things.
Mountains, running water,
social rules, communication,
language, brain chemistry,
religious beliefs,
political ideology,  human nature,
dualism, monism,
Daoism in contrast to Konfucianism,
habits, educational systems
and
tunnels

 

 

 
 
 

Eureka

Every day is filled with enlightenments.
Today I discovered that the writing process in itself
is the true healing process;
Not because I’m learning about my recent past,
but instead, how I can improve the future.
Not because I will be able to change to such a degree,
that I wont make any mistakes ever again,
but because I am becoming aware
that we all share the responsibility
for the past, present and future.
The true healing is really forgiving,
both forgiving myself,
and forgiving others,
and letting go.
Each one of us,
have our own pace and path
and we cannot rush anyone else to
insights.
But
I know today
I am not alone…
Next, I wish I could come to terms with
the rationale behind human short-comings
but
for that, writing a book won’t suffice,
only living my life
can help me see.
Sparkles & Love

 

April 2013

 

How about….

OK so how about sharing joy?
Great!
Sharing fun?
Wonderful!

How about
Sharing accountability?
Sharing responsibility?
Sharing chores?
Sharing wealth?
Sharing possessions?
Sharing time?
Sharing hardships?
Many beautiful words:
Peace, love, friendship,
carry a lot of uncomfortable feelings
behind their cheerful facade.
There is always more we can do
to grow
True love, and true life
cannot be ignored.
It does matter
what you choose to do
Today
 
 
Heart Sparkles

 
 
 
 

Opening My Eyes

Why write?
A memoir is a collection of memories.
My memories.
My selected memories.

Crazy_cool_Joe_me


Writing my story based on my memories from a series, or a selection,
of events and experiences in my life.
Certain memories will create a thread and with these memory threads
I will create a web of meaning and understanding.

I’m not writing an auto-biography.
Maybe I will later in life, but for now I’m just trying to make sense
of my life, by examining what I have gone through.
I am examining all my memories, and I’m already in the process of
getting ‘eureka moments’…
enlightenments and insights about myself.

The words of my mentor and friend echo in my head.
Over the past 3 years in particular she has been trying to
explain to me why I should refocus my energy…
stand my ground and
be true to my starting point.
Where was that? How did I begin?
What has changed?

Yui

And not drain myself the way I was doing.
Not giving of my time (and money) and energy
as much as I had been doing,
but focus on my foundation and my mission.
Yes,
Not follow the needs of others,
but stay true to my mission.

Stay true to my call from the sky.
True to my mission.
Keep my integrity.
And all along…..
this has been my responsibility to myself,
I can’t blame anyone else for this.
..and yet….. I wasn’t even aware….

hide

I wasn’t able to see it.
At all….!!
But ..well now seeing all these memories spread out on my time line,
I suddenly became aware!
I could see it!!
Aware of the change that has come into my work
into my life, over time.
And even if a lot of it was amazing, fun, wonderful memories,
I had also little by little changed my path.
I wasn’t even aware
and I was too proud to listen,
to even try to listen and understand.
and way too HAPPY with my life
just the way it was.
After all just recently I came out of surgery
and made it out alive from cancer.
I didn’t want to miss a single moment of the euphoria,
and the love I felt.

Anna Post cancer surgery Oxygen

Now I will just have to take these memories and put them into a story.
A story that will communicate my perspective and truth to others.

Tsuyoshi Smle Oct 2012

How I got from there … for example from  listening to
DAZZLE! and seeing Tsuyoshi’s smile.
….to this moment today!

According to http://writingthroughlife.com/
There are 5 reasons for writing

  1. Writing your memoir helps you to identify the threads and themes in your life and make sense of what you’ve lived.
  2. Writing about your life is a healing and transformative journey.
  3. Your memoir contributes to recorded history and is your legacy
    to family, friends, and the world.
  4. It provides a way to share your experiences, world view, life lessons, and wisdom with others.
  5. It connects you with others who have experienced the same or similar situations, providing encouragement, comfort, and inspiration. It helps others understand they are not alone in their experiences.

So yes this makes sense.
Number 1 I’m already starting to see the effects of.
The somewhat traumatic feelings in the beginning of this year
must have been a result of previous actions.
If I don’t examine those previous events, I won’t ever be able to grow,
to learn
to move forward
without understanding, I won’t be ale to heal
so number 2 is also a given because..
well, because I do want to heal,
I want to amend,
I want to forgive
and to be forgiven.
I want to be understood!

Number 3 Is a hope for me, that through my story readers will gain
a peek into scenes they might be interested in.
Maybe some of you have thought about a similar journey,
Maybe you want to know more on a personal level how I
with my Western background (whatever that is?)
interpreted what I experienced in Japan.
Maybe my Japanese friends, and Japanese people in general,
want to know more about who I am?
What I have done in Japan.
Who I met.
What the outcome was…
well nr 4 then ties in with the above.

Number 5 .. Maybe so… that remains to be seen if there are others
out there who feel they can connect with my journey..
because
yes I long for being understood,
and like all people I want to feel like I belong somewhere,
that I am connected.

So how do I go about this?
Well honestly I have never before written a book.
So I need skills and tools.
According to Stephen King, and many other authors,
reading is essential, as is writing.
So that’s why I started this blogging streak,
to get it going…
For reading I read both non-fiction and fiction.
Non-fiction for picking up skills,
fiction to improve my vocabulary.

Telling True Stories

This was it for today!
Tomorrow I’m thinking of sharing some actual memories with you!